Teacher Wonders If Outer Space Or Ocean Better Theme For Bulletin Board Listing Coronavirus Rules

DENVER, CO—Endeavoring to determine what would constitute the most compelling learning materials for her third-grade class, local elementary school teacher Meredith Coggins was reportedly wondering Friday if “outer space” or “ocean” would be a better theme for the bulletin board listing coronavirus rules. “It’s super…

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The Onion

3 Tips for Exam Time

Hi Guys,

We still exist! It’s been a while between posts but we are still here after a break of a year or so, and keen for your comments and questions.  The blog has strangely grown in popularity in the meantime.  Who would have guessed our terrible “advice” would be so interesting.  Today I’d like to discuss how to deal with exams.  Obviously, you’ll study for your exams, and you’ll do well.  This part is easy, usually.  Where exam time gets really fun is the mind games you can play on the other students!  So here are our top three tips for exam time.

  1.  Never tell anyone that you’ve studied.  If possible pretend that you didn’t even realise that the exam was today.  Tell your classmates that you had been drinking the night before.  This will make them think you are some kind of sorcerer when your grades get back in, and if you don’t do to well you won’t look so sucky.
  2. Create distractions during the exam.  Cough.  Ask to go to the toilet.  Drop your pencil.  Wear inappropriate clothing (perhaps a speedo?).  The reasons for this are obvious.
  3. Bring a ruler. Always bring a ruler, and pretend to use it multiple times during the exam.  Your classmates will freak out and wonder why you need it.

Now that we’ve shared our three top tips for exams, we’d like to hear from you.  What are your top exam tips?